8 Ways to building trust in a relationship
Building trust in a relationship is one of the most important building blocks of any relationship, regardless of whether you are still dating or already married. There are many ways to do this, but out of all these, there are 8 that really stand out as the concrete ways to building trust in a relationship.
First of all you must accept that you are only human. Like any other human you are not physically, emotionally or intellectually perfect. We all have imperfections and shortcomings. Do not try to hide or cover up your imperfections. Do not put up a front and pretend to be somebody that you are not. If you have smelly feet, confess! Tell your partner that you have this problem and that you are working on it. Your partner will appreciate the honesty and it will contribute greatly to building trust.
Secondly you must understand that predictability leads to stability. Contrary to the common belief that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive, you need to be predictable. Sure, the odd romantic surprise every now and then can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out. Please do not make the mistake of equating predictability, consistency and reliability with being boring. It is not the same thing.
Next, you need to be aware of and control the message sent out through your body language. The words you say and the message presented by your body language must be the same. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which matches your body language. If you say that you are not upset with your partner for denting your new car but you are red in the face, your hands are clenched into fists and you have this deep frown, your partner doesn’t hear your words, but sees your face and hears the tone in your voice. This does not do much for building trust in a relationship. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the body language, you are building trust in a relationship.
Fourthly, you need to have a fundamental infallible belief in your partner’s competency. Not only that, but you must also tell your partner that and show it through your actions. If you believe your partner is incompetent at some things, you should also openly and honestly discuss that. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.
Next and probably one of the most destructive elements that prevents building trust in a relationship is keeping secrets. Secrets, no matter how small or irrelevant, destroy the trust in a relationship. Assume everything you know or do will eventually come out. If you accidentally ran into an ex in a coffee shop and had a cup of coffee together, tell your partner as soon as you can. Secrets require enormous energy on your part that could have been going into building the relationship.
Never be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’t make him or her guess what you need, tell them. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Yes, there is a difference. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Learn to be assertive and say no when necessary. When your partner voices his or her wants or needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything, especially those things that you do not agree with. A partner cannot respect you if you always give in and never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will shows that you have a strong personality and actually builds trust in a relationship. Of course, keep in mind that there is a right way and a wrong way of saying no.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the relationship for future growth and take the first steps to building trust in a relationship. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change.
If you want to learn more about building trust in a relationship take a look at the Magic Of Making Up. It is a down to earth, easy to understand, step by step guide written by your everyday guy who knows a thing or two about relationships. It has shown thousands of others how to go about building trust in a relationship, so there is no reason why it can not help you too.
